So I was trying something new. I just kept on writing this with run on sentences and comma splits just to spill what I was thinking as fast as I could...
At the beginning of class today we talked about the importance of having a college education and how some people just want to be a mom. There are many arguements for getting an education, for example: having a piece of paper that proves you can do the job, learning how to think for yourself, and to explore. However, this certain girl who just wanted to be mom seems to be thinking that the world is perfect. It seems like in her eye nothing ever goes wrong and it is a sugar-coated world even though it isn't. Yes, all those reasons we talked about in class were decent arguements, but what about wanting a education for yourself because you don't want to be considered a 'dumbo?' Wouldn't people like to have intellectual conversations with their spouses instead of talking only about the kids- even though this is good too.
My Grandmother didn't go to college and she grew up to be a lovely mother, this is not at all a bad thing, it is admirable, but she has said that she wished she went to college so she would more adequete compared to her husband. This certain girl who sugar-coats everything needs to wake up and realize that she needs to prepare in everyway possibe like if her husband died, suddenly got a disability, or if the couple got divorced, and these are only a few examples. Don't get me wrong being a mother is a great thing and it needs to be done, kids need to be taken care of, it just depends on what your intentions are- they need to ask themself: Am I looking for an easy way out on not having to support myself and this is why I want to get married, or do I not want to go to college for other reasons or if you can't afford it-this you need to admit.
-Heather B.
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I think "Being just a mother" is a fantasy.
ReplyDeleteDiffinition of motherhood is very vague which reflects personal values. Every woman who wants to have children someday or alredy has children has her own ideal images of mother. But, they almost never become real because they change all the time when the circumstances change.
I think that the girl who wants to be just a mother needs an excuse for quitting her education. Maybe she is tired of learning, or her pride cannot tolerate if she gets low grades in spite of her endeavors. She can say "I could do it, but I did not want.because I wanted to be a mother." And, focusing on being a mother is a convincing reason for quitting school especially in Utah.
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ReplyDeleteok so i have to admit, my entire life all i wanted to be was a mother. and i still do, when that chance comes along. BUT my views have changed dramatically on motherhood.a long with my views on education as a preparing for mothehood in the future.
ReplyDeletein the last 6 years i have had the oppertunity to live in a third world country. the Amazons in Brazil was the most amazing, eye opening experience of my life so far. i got to experience a very simply life and found out that i love simplicity.
ive also got to experience being an aunty. i love it and i love my little neice and have genuine fears that i never knew i had. and i moved on a spiratic whim to utah.. iknow really spiratic, but the fact that im leaving my family to wing it on my own. these things proadened my mind and started me thinking that i really want to BE more.
when i got here i realized how successful the women my age were here and how far behind i felt. most of the women i come in contact with have 1 or 2 degrees, or are at least woking on ther second. it has always been a goal for me to go and get a degree in some institution of higher education, not for the degree per say but for the feeling of accomplishment and for my future family. i want my children to feel proud of their mother and to have a desire to better themselves. if i dont better myself how can i preach it?
as far as parenthood, i hope it will come, and im sure at some point when im ready it will. for know i need and want to beable to take care of myself and have my parents proud of me for succeeding at a life goal. now i believe in getting a degree in high education for the fact of personal gain, the logic of getting a better job, and pride that you loved ones will have of you and your accomplishments.
so thats my thoughts.take it as you will.
Heather I enjoyed your comment that saidi want my children to feel proud of their mother and to have a desire to better themselves. if i dont better myself how can i preach it?"
ReplyDeleteI really do agree. I really don't think women should just settle for being a mother. I think being a mother is a great thing, and they probably don't get recognition enough. However, I think that everyone should really TRY and reach their potential. Work your hardest now, do what you want to do NOW, and not sit around waiting for the day that you will be a mother. it is not picture perfect. Just start LIVING NOW.
Just for your info, 'Heat Heat' is Heather Bolton, it is just my other blog name, so I chose to stay with it since we have another Heather in the class =D
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I think for some people they don't feel as if they really need to reach their full potential. We kind of live in a lazy society where we think as long as we can sneak by with the least work possible we should be fine. That's how I used to think in high school. If I just did enough work to pass I would be set. But now I know that that isn't really the reason to be in school.
ReplyDeleteSo, maybe this girl who wanted to just be a mother was thinking that would be the "easy way out" when really it will probably be a decision she will regret. My mom went to college for a few years, but after having a few children decided not to finish. Although, I consider her as a very successful woman, she has always wished that she could go back. She now pushes us, or at least encourages us to work hard and to take advantage of a good education. Maybe dropping out will have the same effect on the girl that dropped our class. Maybe some positive could come from her mistake.
>Heather
ReplyDeleteI agree that you said "if i dont better myself how can i preach it?"
Before I came here, I had been just a mother for 13 years.
Strictly speaking, I was not just a mother but almost,
staying home, taking care of children, doing all the domestic duties,etc.
I was pretty busy being a mother.
In spite of my hard-working, the mother's duties were never done.
when I found my son had autistism, I stopped being just a mother and came to U.S. to learn how to help him
becouse there were not good education systems for autistic children in my country.
Now I am a part-time mother.
My freinds say my children are pity because I cannot take care of my children as well as a full-time mother.
But it is not true. my children became more independent than before.
Showing models is the most effective way to teach children.
I do not need to say "Study!" or "Do your homework!" to them.
I just do my home work and study.
Now they are active learners because everyday they see I study hard.
I know that mother's attitude of her life influences the attutudes of the children's lives.
Heather, your comment about your grandmother "[wishing] she went to college so she would be more adequate compared to her husband" struck a cord with me. I've always striven to be desirable to the type of man I would like to attract. That particular man would want someone on par with him, one who could share opinions and ideas with him, one who would be able to take care of the family if the need arose, one who was ambitious and determined like himself. I, personally, would hate to be in a relationship where I felt subordinate to my man because I had not had the proper life and mind training.
ReplyDeleteMiho,
Thank you for your last comment. It was very touching to read about your sacrifice for your children and the positive affect it has on them.
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ReplyDeleteMiho,
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult decision you must have had to make. You are an example to millions of parents, willing to make such huge sacrifices for your children. Being brave to better yourself so that you could better lead your children to success, help them become independent,and teach them through your example that education is vital and important no matter who you are or what your situation may be.
I dont think theres anything really wrong with wanting and becomeing a stay at home mom, to raise your children and make sure its done the right way. But i do think it should be a difficult decision because being a stay at home mom means you dont have a job, and you need to keep busy and have a good reason for having to be at home either with the children or chores to do be doing around the house and if your just a mom wasting her time around the house thats when i think stay at home moms are ridculous and lazy.
ReplyDeleteI think being a mom requires an education because the kids will be asking the mom to help them with their homework. Also, with their curiosity, they will want to know more about the natural world around them. A mother who can teach her children about the world will help prepare them for the future. Sure, somebody with a high school education can raise children, but I believe the experiences and difficulties of a college education can prepare mothers to teach their children and also set a good example for them.
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